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"Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound."
- Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange Street Food Farm
"I invented the internet".
- Al Gore, former U.S. Vice President
"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, Boxer
"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."
- Alicia Silverstone, Actress
"How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby."
- Anonymous Manufacturer
"This is no longer a slum neighborhood. I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time."
- Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, IL
"During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails."
- AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian
"Two grand slams in a week - man, that's seven or eight ribbies right there."
- Bill Madlock, Baseball broadcaster
"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach
"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
- Bill Peterson, football coach
"The internet is a great way to get on the net."
- Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer
Stupid Quotes
"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver."
- Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman
"The team has come along slow but fast."
- Casey Stengel, Baseball player/manager
"I think the team that wins Game 5 will win the series. Unless we lose Game 5."
- Charles Barkley, NBA Basketball Player
"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
- Charles De Gaulle, former French President
"Football players win football games."
- Chuck Knox, football coach
"Most lies about blondes are false."
- Cincinnati Times-Star, headline
"If you give a person a fish, they'll fish for a day. But if you train a person to fish, they'll fish for a lifetime."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago"
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President
"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!"
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President on the concept of a manned mission to Mars
"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."
- David Acfield
